Wednesday, December 26, 2007


I think I have an answer to the all-important "Where do you go to church?" question. Though we haven't officially joined, we have frequented a liberal-leaning, thinking man's church here in Charlotte and couldn't be happier about it. Imagine; liberal and religion in the same sentence!

The you-you church is filled with a bunch of old hippies and basic disgruntled church-goers who refuse to suffer the "doom and gloom" syndrome of whatever other faith/denomination/abomination they have suffered in the past. My kinda people, to be exact.

Besides the same "all about us" classes, you-you has discussion groups, poetry groups, nature walks and yoga sessions to help in the overall spiritual healing process that attending church was meant to do. At least, that's what I think. There's a variety of small (to use office-speak) breakout groups for those who want to get involved and connect on a smaller, more intimate level. I've chosen to start with yoga. In addition to being good for me, it's a place to which I've been to before and am comfortable in and know my way around, to some degree.

My past experiences with organized religion has been hit or miss and I've come to the conclusion that I will not attend any church in order to be a good girl, or earn another check mark in the journey to the next world. Uh ah. I want to go to be a part of a community that is engaging and touches my soul in some meaningful way. To put in mildly, I just don't have the time to be payin lip service!

Speaking of service, the first service we went to was not a regular service, which was really fantastic in retrospect. The leader of this group is a former poetry professor at a well recognized university and conducts "poetry services" once a season. This was one of them, and what a service it was. Besides hearing thoughtful, beautiful stories from around the world, we listened to several sweet Beatles tunes (what screams "live and let live" hippie dippie 60s more than "Let It Be"?) and witnessed the congregation waltz together out the door. I was moved. To tears, to be exact. My soul was touched. We can't wait to go back.

I think I have found the answer.

Where have you been?

It's been almost two whole months since my last post and it's hard to reason why. I got away from it, mostly. I also spent a couple of weeks in Canada and disconnected to my feelings about Charlotte. Disconnecting from something/some place you are otherwise desperately trying to connect with is, well, discombobulating to say the least.

What has happened to me in Charlotte since then? I've been busily hunting for employment and let me tell you, it has been a humbling experience. I think I have been unemployed for a total of three days since the age of 13. I've had a variety of odd/mind-numbingly normal, (I once dressed up as a Duracell battery; it paid outrageously well) good/horrible, (ad sales jobs with the freedom to wander and luncheon come to mind in the good department) well-paying/pathetically paying gigs along the way and find myself in a strange place. I am working, but not at a job that is necessarily well-suited for me and am working hard to make peace with it. Though I am grateful to be employed, I am still asking myself, much like a Talking Heads disciple, "lord, how did I get here?".

Talking to former beauty queens who live for pampering and vanity sessions is not a job I ever saw myself doing. Besides being obviously (annoyingly) over-qualified, I am spending an inordinate amount of time with people who very much care and take care of their looks. I am generally speaking, not one of those people. I'm not criticizing though; I wish in some ways, I did care more about beauty. I just don't feel natural or familiar in this territory. And let's not forget the Elephant in the room, the beauty business is fairly superficial. I'm trying to find people who are beautiful on the inside and again feel discombobulated. Sigh.

To be fair, I have met a couple of genuinely sweet people. Not everyone who works for a beauty/cosmetics company is a superficial ninny, though it sometimes feels that way. I have actually become good friends with a few and am grateful for the opportunity to meet any new people here. I can live with that for now.

For now.