The End Is Near - Summer Plans

No, I haven't been reading Nostradamus. That dude is waaaaay too depressing. And a total downer. And off the mark, I'm afraid.

The end of the school year is coming and I am ill-prepared to deal with a month of bored kids. Did I sign them up for camp? Nope. They aren't really campers. Definitely not overnight campers and don't have buddies to hang with at camp either. Their closest friends are kickin around town most of the summer. Good, in the sense of we can arrange play dates. Bad, in the sense of I haven't arranged any yet. No time like the present right?

I wish it were so easy. My summer is going to be consumed with work and after that, getting ready to get out of dodge. Sure I'll take them to the amusement park, the swimming pool and for drives in the country. But my schedule just isn't as flexible as it was last year. And they got bored last year. And, they had neighbor kids to play with last year. And, they weren't nearly as demanding as this year.

Remember in the "olden days", as Keller calls it (makes ME think of covered wagons, bonnets and Little House, somehow) when we just hung out all summer? Mornings were spent watching cartoons until mom kicked you out. If it was raining or she was busy, your morning TV might get extended to noon which meant you could watch The Price Is Right, King of Kensington, The Trouble With Tracy and Definition (cue theme from "Austin Powers"; side note - am I the ONLY person who figured out that MM "borrowed" the theme song from that wonderful show???) If you aren't Canadian you probably won't know those last three shows. Total TO shout out!!

Anyhoo, I like to think life then was much simpler. We would go to the pool a couple of times during the day, ride bikes, go to the store for a freezee (yes, back then we were allowed to ride somewhere on our own without total fear of being kidnapped) and wait for dinner. After that it was time to gather outside to play Red Rover, Capture the Flag or Nicki Nine Doors, and then wait for the street lights to come on. That was pretty much it.

I had always hung out with our neighbors and lifelong friends The Wilsons, and around the age of nine or so, I started to spend more time in their basement learning how to dance. Those were the heady days of the Jackson 5, and disco. We did the hustle, the bump, and the slide. My favorite songs were "Do The Locomotion", "Disco Inferno", "I Want You Back" and later "Nice Legs, Shame About Yer Face". OK, I didn't really understand the lyrics back then...

Maybe it's because my mom was way too overburdened or there was always a lack of funds, but only the few of us who had rich and sympathetic friends ever got to go to a cottage. Camp was OK, as long as it was on a scholarship. I did manage a couple of scholarships and I did go to a friend's cottage once, but my summers were mostly spent at Eringate pool and the baseball diamonds surrounding it. Someone in my family or The Wilsons always played ball and that meant scrounging up change to buy an orange pop and a box of popcorn. (I know; soooo Canadian.)

The company I work for puts out an intense camp directory. If there's a camp within a 200 mile radius of Charlotte, we know about it and chances are, they're advertising with us. I'm a little embarrassed to not have an answer to the "where are your kids going to camp this summer?" question. It's already been asked once by one colleague and I dread having to repeat "no where, really." Is it a southern thing? A Charlotte thing? An American thing? A generational thing? Do all kids go to camp????

WHAT IS WRONG WITH JUST KICKIN IT AT HOME, OLD SCHOOL?

If anyone has helpful suggestions with what I can do with my kids that's fun, doesn't cost much and doesn't take much time, please send them along. Please. My kids don't like the Jackson 5.

AI - Not Yet Ready For a Glamazon

Poor America. They played it safe. Choose them the good ole country boy, church-lovin', easy-listening, vanilla pudding, Kris Allen for their next idol. Despite his mediocre talent and his "awe, shucks" attitude absolutely devoid of star power, Kris won. Am I bitter? Yes.

Somehow I got completely sucked into AI, in its eighth year mind you, and have taken the final decision personally. And why shouldn't I? I even voted! Not once, but twice! If you would have asked me five years ago if I would give a rats ass about some dumb reality show, I would have scoffed, snorted and turned my nose up at the idea. Look at me today. Sigh.

In my earlier post, I alluded to our family's current idol obsession and attribute it to my kids' desire to sing for their school. Maybe we just have too much time on our hands at night?? Either way, I'm going to try and skip Season Nine all together. I simply cannot make such an emotional and time commitment, to have it carelessly tossed aside because millions of teen and tweeny-boppers find Kris the boy-next-door Allen more dreamy and attainable than Adam the ambiguously gay single. Seriously.

I guess I should have known that America isn't ready to openly crown such a flamboyant king. I'm thinking maybe the past decade or so of moral-based politics and fear-driven policies have done some serious damage to the free-spirited souls who used to worship bands like KISS and Queen, who embraced androgyny-clad rockers like Bowie or Alice Cooper. Man, the 70s kicked some ass, didn't it? Even if you don't like those artists, you have to admire their spirit and willingness to be different.

It's a shame that Adam Lambert spent the entire season dodging questions about his sexuality, always responding with "I'm just me." What is wrong with that America??? Will it take every cotton-pickin state to be OK with gays before we can openly appreciate a reality tv star? I guess we just aren't ready to roll with a glamazon. Not yet, anyhow.

A Clark Sweep

I'm not sure if it's the American Idol mania that has taken over our house, but my kids are totally psyched about singing these days. Not just singing in the shower singing (which they do a lot of), but singing at the table, singing while they do homework, singing on the toilet... a lot of singing. I do my share of singing too, only it's usually while I'm alone at home. Kev of course sings while on stage, but never at home. I guess there's only so much singing one family can do. Or is there...

A couple of weeks ago both kids entered their school talent competition, Paideia Idol. And, won! Yup, both of them!!! It was a Clark sweep. Keller did a solo song/dance number to "We Will Rock You", while Cyre entered a group competition and won for "That's What You Get", a tween favorite by "Twilight" contributors, Paramore. Even I won something, a door prize. Ironically, my prize was a bunch of beauty products and a free facial courtesy of Modern Salon. Go figure.

Anyhow, there was so much Clark love in the house at the show, some kids started a rumor that the whole thing was fixed. With Kevin in charge of the soundboard, it would be easy to see why some sour grapes would make such unethical charges. We do live in times of recent wire-tapping scandals and secret torture memos...Anyhow, let me just set the record straight; we did not cheat. Our kids sang their hearts out and were rewarded for their efforts.

Does this mean the Disney channel will be knocking on our door anytime soon? Probably not. But it means that our kids got a major boost of confidence and Kev and I boasting rights. And, some great memories to laugh over for years to come. Keller's breakout break dance during the instrumental part of the song had everyone in tears. His energy and efforts just can't go unrecognized. As one teacher said "I just love his little white self!" Though he didn't exactly inherit the funk gene, his fearlessness to put himself out there is inspiring.

Cyre, on the other hand, does get extreme stage fright but has decided it's better to face her fears than just live with them. Couldn't we all just have a little of that? Please? Her tiny but powerful stage swagger is awesome. She's just got it. I know, it sounds like a typical mother, but it's not. So many people have commented on how comfortable she seems on stage. And how crazy photogenic she is. She's not a diva or a glamazon, just a regular kid who loves to perform. Did Miley "Radiohead better acknowledge me or else" Cyrus start off that way? I sure hope not!

It's good to let kids go for their dreams. Not in a crazed baseball-mugging-dad kind of way, but in a "give it your best; winning isn't everything" kind of way. Shoot - I like to pretend to turn up the stereo to 11, rock out to Guitar Hero, and imagine I'm Kurt Cobain. (Definitely don't pretend I'm Courtney Love; don't want to play rehab) Does it mean I'm ever going to tour the country in a cruddy van? Nope. Just means I pay tribute to my musical dreams. And sometimes they can come true. Just ask my kids.

Astrological Minority

The Clark men recently celebrated their joint birthdays with a little backyard soiree. There were no milestones this year, but both Kevin and Keller are definitely feeling older. For different reasons.

Of course I panicked pre shin-dig, worrying there wouldn't be enough food to eat (I know; I am married to a Clark!!), the kids wouldn't have anything to do (the default game is ALWAYS tag outside) and people wouldn't have anything to talk about (what am I thinking; this is the south).
Kevin made a huge batch of jambalaya, the kids had hot dogs, Ms Southern Hospitality brought her world famous pasta salad and I concocted a new summer drink. God bless vodka...

For Kevin, turning 51 wasn't as dramatic or interesting or memorable as turning 50. Last year, we met family and friends in New Orleans for a big get together. This year we kept it small and home based. But it had an impact just the same. The day Kevin's AARP membership arrived in the mail, his shoulders drooped just a little. He had to face facts; he was now in his 50s. I just keep telling him 50 is the new 40. The good news is, the older he gets, the more astonished people are when they learn how old he really is. Most folks figure Kevin for about 40-43. Not bad!

For Keller, turning 8 was a milestone. Shoot, turning any age is exciting for kids. He was proud to be another year older, letting everyone know he will soon be entering the THIRD GRADE. Funny thing is, people have the complete opposite reaction when learning how old Keller is. If they just listened to his conversations, they would swear he was about 17. Not because he has some freaky low voice, but because he uses word like isometric existentialism, and can rattle off facts like Mozart's birthday, the name of President Lincoln's dog, the year the great earthquake of Peru happened, and where and how the cradle of civilization began.

It's strange, but I happen to know quite a few people born on April 16. Several musicians in New Orleans and Toronto are born that day. I must really love me some Aries. Once, at a friend's kid's birthday party in New Orleans, I quizzed everyone on their date of birth and realized I was the only non-Aries in the room. An astrological minority is an uncomfortable thing to be. And of course, two of those people were born on April 16.

There's quite a few famous Aries born on this day who have left their unique imprint on this world. Charlie Chaplin, the current head of the Catholic Church, Pope Benedict XXX (or something like that), Kingsley Amis (that rakish novelist and James Bond brain), Dusty Springfield, and my personal favorite, Ducky from "Pretty in Pink" (or John Cryer as he's known in the real world). Oh, and one of those Osmond brothers...Odds were good one of them would be born on this day.

Think about it. Which astrological sign do you most relate to? Which ones are more often in your life? It's great fun to ask someone their birthday and then reply with a long, "oooooh", while opening your eyes really wide. Gets them every time. All I know is, I do love me some Aries. Especially my two Clark men. Happy Birthday, Kevin and Keller Clark!

Zahi the Rock Star

This past week Kevin and I made our son's dream come true. We took Keller to Atlanta to a lecture by Dr. Zahi Hawass, the world's leading Egyptologist, a rock star-in-training. He came, he heard, he met, he conquered.

It was a challenge for sure, but an opportunity we just couldn't pass up. Yes, we were going to have to scramble with our jobs/work schedules to make it happen. Yes, we were going to have to intrude upon our relatives. Yes, we were going to have to come up with the money somewhere to pay for gas, meals, tickets etc. And yes, we would have to pull our son out of school on a day when his class would be celebrating the end of quarterly tests. Dreams are not always practical...

Unlike her brother, Cyre does not share Keller's love for all things ancient and Egyptian and decided to stay back. Thankfully our good friends were only too glad to keep her for the day and night. We dropped her off at school, took her things to the neighbors, gassed up the car and hit the road. In what seemed like no time, we arrived in Atlanta, ready to be entertained.

With a few spare hours open, we met with Justin and took him to lunch. Justin turns 24 in a few days and we're happy he's made it so far. Though we didn't get to spend as much time with him as we'd like, we are glad to spend any time at all and hope to have him back in Charlotte. He was kind enough to take us to the Fox Theatre to buy our tickets. We were really looking to kill time and didn't think it could possibly sell out. We were wrong.

Before the show, we decided to grab a coffee at the hotel across the street. Keller was donning a coat jacket (seersucker to be exact) and decided he should use his best manners and act "fancy". He held my arm, said hello to fellow patrons, wished strangers a "good day", and even used his napkin. I think I may buy him a few more jackets! We needed to kill more time and cruised up and down the street looking in shop windows, discussing ancient civilization and generally being geeky.

We arrived at the doors a few minutes early to discover an already large crowd gathering. "It's a total geekfest" was my first reaction. People of every age were there, books in hand, ready to meet the great Hawass. I was sort of nervous, unsure of what to expect, sort of Dorothy and gang just before they meet the great and powerful Oz. Seating was open and we made sure to be at the front of the line to get a good seat.

Keller had made a sign "We Love You Zahi Hawass" with lots of hyrogliphics (sp?), a special book entitled "Nile De-Nile" ("it's a joke; get it?") and some extra images just in case he was bored/inspired. While standing in line to get our seating, a little girl and her mom wanted to know how long Keller had been studying ancient Egypt, like it was the most normal thing to ask a kid. Not "how long have you been into legos" or "what's your favorite xbox game". A girl after his own heart!

Turns out Beatrix is not only adorable, but equally versed in ancient Egypt, Dinosaurs, Shakespeare, Opera and the Terra Cotta warriors. Hello!!!!! A female version of our son. If only she lived in Charlotte...Beatrix and her family grabbed seats behind us but before long, she and Keller were sharing a seat, comparing Egypt books, drawing pictures and holding a conversation most 40-somethings can't hold.

Beatrix's parents (who met at a poetry slam) are artistic, creative and totally unassuming. Home-schooling their daughter has turned out to be a huge success and it made me think I should look for other home-schoolers in town. They are members of the Hy Museum and take Beatrix to events, readings and lectures on a regular basis. She's just the sort of kid you know you'll be reading about one day who has written a great novel, or will have an art exhibit in New York at a ridiculously young age. Again, a girl after Keller's own heart.

The lecture was surprisingly interesting, engaging and funny. Hawass is the first Egyptian archeologist to have discovered anything of any value in the past century. All other major discoveries have been courtesy of foreigners. For this reason alone, Hawass is an absolute rock star in his own country. He's also versed in several languages and extremely media savvy which helps him attract worldwide media attention with every discovery. I think if he discovered he had suddenly developed a case of gout, that would attract attention too.

Along with being a bit of a smart-ass (he retold the story of discovering a new tunnel under a villager's home and when his assistant asked what he first saw he replied "I see shit"; it was apparently under what would have been the bathroom) Hawass is also extremely generous. One lucky little girl who had apparently been emailing Hawass was invited on stage. After finding her parents in the audience, he personally invited them to Egypt on his dime. I told Keller he'd better get busy!

Keller and Beatrix shared a few more laughs while waiting in line to get the great doctor's autograph. Thinking they might email each other, I asked Lynne if Beatrix ever emailed. Before I could grab a pen, Lynne whipped out Beatrix's personal card with the title "Communicator -in-training". After patiently standing in an over-zealous crowd for almost 45 minutes, it was almost time to meet the great and powerful Oz. It was late and the theater staff were a bit punchy and pushing everyone around. It was a total high-tension assembly line with one guy grabbing the book, another shoving fans in front of the table, another directing Hawass to sign, another grabbing the book out from under him and the last guy pushing people out the door.

I was worried Keller wouldn't get a chance to say anything personal, let alone talk to the guy. As we reached the front of the line, the book was grabbed, Keller was shoved and he was going to miss his chance. I took Keller's handwritten book and made sure the assistant knew it was a gift to Hawass to keep. At that point, the man himself took a minute to thank Keller, admire his sign and suggested Keller email him. Mission accomplished.

Could a trip to Egypt be in our future? Possibly. I considered starting a fund drive to raise money to send him there. Is that just too pushy? Can that dream wait? We'll keep you posted.

In the meantime, Keller is working on a new anthem and says "We will, we will, rock you!"

Isometric Existentialism

Say that 10 times! I can barely say it once, but my smarty-pants seven-year-old can say it, spell it and even explain it. Apparently it's some scientific term (Einstein dug it) about the way things come together (in space?) and stay together. I dunno. Sounds way out of my league.

God bless youth for a total lack of fear. How come kids aren't freaked out about stuff like this?

Forgive me for not finding an easier segue, but it's the best I could come up with while still getting to use that ridiculous phrase. Things are coming together for us here in Charlotte. Kevin is (finally) settling into his mail thing, thanks to The Messiah (see earlier post) and a good talkin-to with the powers that be at the USPS. He has been getting a lot more calls for gigs (two or so a week; big times for Charlotte) and has a really strong job in the works which would turn things around for us. FINALLY!

Work for me is the same; over-worked and under-paid. But, I still really like what I do and if I actually got paid properly, would really, really like what I do. The freelance work remains steady and I have promised myself to start pitching/writing outside my comfort zone. My first gardening assignment should come in soon. Me, the notorious black thumb! I don't ever seem to have enough time to do everything I want, but have to pick and choose my battles.

One thing that has changed, is my commitment to taking care of myself. I'm sticking with my plan to do at least two yoga classes per week, combined with two-three walks around the track as well. Although I'm not blogging as much as I'd like, I will write about Charlotte at least once a month and have kept that promise too. I am learning to walk away from the computer on the weekend (OK, at least for work purposes) and spending more time with the kids. Tall order, for sure but oh so important to throw some "me" time in the mix.

The kids continue to do well here and are working on their "Idol" routines for the school "Padaiea Idol" contest. Cyre won honorable mention last year and hopes to have another shot at the trophy. Hopefully if she wins another, they'll actually spell her name correctly. She still hasn't gotten last year's back...things are done a little slower down here... Her grades are still straight As and she has been confirmed as accepted in a great IB school, close to home. She has also officially crossed into "tweendom" and says "like" an awful lot, and flips her hair for emphasis and sticks her right hip out when she's making a point or talking to her brother and generally, making me fear 13. See, coming together. Like, totally.

Keller is, well, Keller. Still quizzing me at 7 am about the oldest, ancient city in South America/Egypt's middle dynasty/Roman Empire, still can't find his damn shoes anywhere. He is thriving at school, loving gymnastics and is thrilled, thrilled, thrilled to be old enough to enter in the Idol contest at school this year. He and his friend are supposed to be doing a gymnastics routine but they're both a couple of knuckle-heads when they get together so my guess is, they'll probably just jump around and act goofy.

Alfie is exactly the same. Sweet, territorial, needy, loyal and way too familiar with our bed. But only we weren't not here. Oh, and just a little stinky. If only the local deer didn't use our backyard for a toilet!

We still haven't had our official "moving in" party at the new house, but we're thinking a spring/boy birthday party might be in order. We don't have anything extravagant planned for Keller, but are trying to get to Atlanta next week to hear Dr. Zahi Hawass speak. This guy is head of ancient Egyptian treasures and Keller's absolute hero. It would rock his world.

The house is good, but will always be in a perpetual state of renovation. I'm coming to peace with it. Besides, it allows me to freely purchase home decor magazine subscriptions without the slightest hint of guilt (research!) and I do love me some magazines. Kevin continues to work on things like plumbing, heating, doors and windows, whenever he can. I don't know how we missed all these in our home inspection... I mean, we seriously seem to find something broken every week. Is it because we have the time to look? I know that day will end soon so I guess I shouldn't complain and make use of him/it while I can.

One thing I'm going to definitely do, is document our progress with photos and stories both here and in my new design blog, Queen City Splendor. I'll keep y'all posted once I get some images up text together. For now, I'm going to elevate my over-worked left leg, sip some green tea and enjoy life in Charlotte.

Snow and more Snow

My last blog was all about a snow day and guess what; we got us another one. Only this one is pretty deserved, seeing as how the roads down here in the Carolinas are truly a mess. Cars, semis and even emergency crews have been having a tough time with icy roads. They just don't buy salt in bulk in NC, nor do they have the truck/man power to plough everything in sight. Heck, the kids and I can't even shovel the steps anymore. This morning we couldn't find proper gloves or boots either. We gave those up (not for lent, though the season is upon us) when we moved south. Were we being too cocky?

We just returned from Canada where we encountered plenty of snow, and the weekend previous, were up in the mountains skiing. Judging from our winter endeavors and travels, you would never know we actually left Toronto to get away from snow. This winter we've had three snow days, a weekend ski trip and then travelled north back to visit the Great White North. All this white stuff has me a little befuddled. "Where am I?" I ask myself when I awake to a frozen white car.

Now, the snow up in the mountains on our ski trip was pretty, but there was barely enough of it. Luckily, the resort up in Banner Elk has enough machines to pump the hills with enough snow to make the slopes do-able. However, they skipped the extra machine for the tubing hill and the result was a big slushy mess. Cyre and I gave up after a couple of hours and they folks in the office were kind enough to return our money, knowing full well that we would turn around and spend it on something else. And we did. Cyre went ice skating instead.

My brother and sister-in-law were kind enough to take our kids down the slopes, show them the ropes (literally) and give them a taste of the good life. Kevin and I stayed back at the chalet and stayed warm by the fire. I brought my computer and got caught up on work, while he caught up on some much needed sleep. Every now and then I would look outside the window, take in the beautiful landscape and smile. I did step outside and take a few shots of the mountains, just for posterity, in case anyone accused me of ignoring my surroundings. Later that day we took a drive into town, grabbed a tea, checked out a few shops and enjoyed some free time alone. That's my idea of a ski vacation!

Our trip north was a different story. Kevin had a series of concerts and gigs in Toronto. It was Cyre's birthday and she wanted to visit a few friends and relatives. I decided we would tag along since the cost of gas was going to be even less expensive than a return flight. So, it turned out to be more of a convenience than anything. Although my friends kept asking "why the h$*! are you coming here in the worst month of the year?", we decided it would be worth it just to see everyone again.

I admit it; I was extremely nervous about driving through the mountains of Virginia in the month of February. But, we gave ourselves two days to drive and promised we would pull off (to the side, not off the mountain) if things got too hairy. Well, we were lucky. The first two hours were a bit tricky as a few trucks fish-tailed and slid around on the roads. Our trusty, all-wheel drive got us through this stretch no problem. Plus, our experience driving in Canada help us with things like distance, breaking and general common sense. Now if only I could transfer that to my NC driver's licence test...but that will definitely be a whole other post!

The rest of the trip went smoothly. On the Saturday in Canada, we drove west to the town of St Jacobs, to meet with friends while Kev gigged in the next town over. That afternoon a snowstorm blew into the region, and we caught most of it. But, somehow snow up there felt appropriate. It made me just a little nostalgic for Canada. Snowstorms in NC feel weird and dangerous. And weird. I know they aren't all that dangerous, but they still shake me. I didn't have that same reaction at all in Canada.

Anyhow, I know the snow that's outside on my daffodils won't last, and their yellow beauty will bloom once more. I know we had better enjoy our silver white winter before it melts into spring. (shout out to Sound of Music). I know I shouldn't feel lonely for crappy, Canadian winters. But I do.

Maybe next week when I'm sitting outside on my porch again, I'll forget about being in Canada and embracing the warm, beautiful weather of North Carolina. I'm sure I'll forget all about the snow until next year.